Nonsense #1: My thoughts on...

I've been thinking about this for a while. I'm pretty sure no one will read this, but it's alright. 

 

What does it feel like losing someone or something you really love? I think I do know how it feels but I want to know how other people feel. When I lose someone or something I really love, I'll cry. I'll feel this deep deep loneliness and feel like many cannot relate to me because well.. usually nobody is there for me. (even though I'm not alone) When someone tells me "You're not alone", why does it feel like I'm alone? When you cannot give me an answer on how I feel or give me some form of advice instead of saying "don't be sad and smile god damn it!". It's not as easy as it seems.

 

When I lost my lamb during Indio fair (had to auction him away), I cried so much because I grown so attached to him. I've grown so attached to him because I would spend time afterschool and during school with him almost every single day and walk him around with my friend Shelby and her lamb. He was one of the most mean and stubborn lambs ever but one thing I learned is that, when I love something I will never give up on it. He would run from me everywhere and guess what... it was worth chasing him. Memories man. I guess he has grown attached to me somehow too because once he got used to me, he'd run up to me and nudge me. People also said to me that I've made him to used to being around people because he would go up to everyone and lick them while all the other lambs ran away. When I was going through some things at Indio, I would go to his pen and sit with him in there and just hold him and cry. Although he is not a human, he was there for me. It felt like something so close to my heart was taken away from me. This is how I feel when I lose someone or something. Lonely and sad, but it's life. You have to deal with it. :'( Only time can tell when you're fully healed.

 

You may think this is stupid because I miss a lamb, but being with him and taking care of him was what made me the most happiest. He was the first lamb and is going to be the last lamb I will ever have. 

I miss him, but in some point in life.. you have to move on and be happy. v.v I still wonder if this is how people feel when they lose someone or something though. I'm so young and inexperienced but I guess this is how it feels. :/

Broken Glass (Another song)

Baby, I’m just walking on broken glass.

I was looking for a way to go

But I got lost in a second

Now what is broken, I can’t fix

Even if I try to cover it up over

Every step, it hurts even more

[Boy they always say]

That time would pass me by

3 years has gone, and I’m done for I…

I’m looking back, reminiscing the days that we had

Wishing I could bring them back

I’m still walking here

It’s true,

Denying the truth with what I would do

If I didn’t have thoughts of life without you

First time around

I was such a fool for you

But second best is not what I needed

Last in line

I’ve been looking around for what to do

Then you came back

And now you feeling like you cheated

If you let me go, walk away

I won’t turn around; have nothing to say

Before another Lover is lost

I guess, I’m just walking on broken glass

Boy, have you have been putting me aside?

All over my priorities?

You never knew how much you made me cry

Are you being selfish with your feelings?

I needed you by myself

We grown so far apart

Were not Romeo and Juliet

From this day forward

We can pretend like we never even met

First time around

I was such a fool for you

But second best is not what I needed

Last in line

I’ve been looking around for what to do

Then you came back

And now you feeling like you cheated

If you let me go, walk away

I won’t turn around; have nothing to say

Before another Lover is lost

I guess, I’m just walking on broken glass

Baby, are you just an afterthought of mine?

Just Be Friends (My Song Rewrite)

Second song I put up on here. I hope you like it.

Just be Friends
All we gotta do is just be friends
It's time to say good bye
Just be friends
All we gotta do is just be friends
Just be friends
Just be friends

I remember the night when you told me that it didn't work
The broken pieces of my heart were standing in my way
I didn't see how it happened..
All the glass cut me up
I wonder if this is really what we wanted

Even though I knew from the deepest part of my heart
The best decision we made was the hardest part..
Denying all the love that once was there
The contradiction, regret and despair
There is no time to tell you.. I don't think there ever is..

I struggle here, and tell myself it's the only way through..
The world that we lived in, there's nothing that I can do
Everything you gave to me..
The memories fade.. away..
You could say I walked away..

I scream my hoarse voice at you
And yet the sound just echos on and on, but it's all in vain
But it's just no use, there's nothing left..
I guess it's all gone
There's only static on your line and I am left all alone
I know that things do happen and change us
We fall apart, and drift away.. the pieces don't fit
I tell myself no matter what we do is just too hard
Until my tears are falling dry..
I just think "Life's just like this.."

All we gotta do just be friends
It's time to say goodbye
Just be friends
All we gotta do just be friends
Just be friends
Just be friends...

During that night, I stayed awake lying in my bed..
Thinking about the memories that I leave and what I take
Until the saddest thought came to mind..
It made me so upset
That it would do me better to just leave it all behind

There is no reason to keep a tree that would never grow
Just like our passion, they are dead and dying all too soon
All of the fighting and the pain we would cause
What's with all the emotional loss?
We filled our minds with things we couldn't even bare..

We both grew tired and unaware, looking to other places
And though it's hard to do, we just have to face it..
That I know I can't change my mind, and I still want to be with you
And somehow, just let you go

There is a dark cloud that's storming over me
It's killing me, I'm tired of the fact that you've got to leave..
Despite the bravery that I showed you, it's not really there..
It's just to hard to say goodbye, but lifes just like that
 

I know that things do happen and changes us
We fall apart, and drift away.. the pieces don't fit
It's over now, and I'll try to say good bye to what I can't have..
You are no longer my lover and I'll just have to live with that

Maybe just one day.. Maybe just one day
I wish that my wish could really come true..
I'd be born again.. and again and again..
Just to relive the days.. when I was with you

I scream my hoarse voice at you
And yet the sound just echos on and on, but it's all in vain
But it's just no use, there's nothing left..
I guess it's all gone
There's only static on your line and I am left all alone
I know that things do happen and change us
We fall apart, and drift away.. the pieces don't fit
It's over now, and I'll try to say good bye to what I can't have..
You are no longer my lover and I'll just have to live with that

Why does it have to be.. goodbye..

All we've got to do is just be friends
It's time to say goodbye
Just be friends..
All we've got to do is just be friends
Just be friends
Just be friends..
(2x)

Song originally by Luka Megurine! A rewrite in English by me!


~ Piano Melody to this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inPVedSa1tI